Corporate phrase: “To Align”

Definition:

A recent euphemism used by project managers for “Have a meeting where I will try and organise any deliverables you might have, so that I get mine first”

Explanation:

Used in the context of a meeting or call: “Do you have 10 minutes so we can just align”.

This has replaced the more honest “To Prioritise”, and the more informal “To Catch-up” .

Disclaimer: As always these posts are not aimed at anyone client or employer and are just my personal observations over a lifetime of dealing with both management and frontline associates.

A Guide to Contractors 2022

Now that I am doing far more permanent work but still working with contractors about 70% of my time. I feel I can write a decent guide on the different types of contractor you will come across. Its semi humorous, but the content is real and it affects how you have to manage and work with such people.

 

Serious consultant.

To me a Consultant is a definite term. They are somebody who you know by reputation or by experience, they are not hired in the boring sense, they are consulted and they are retained and often you have to tempt them away from what they are already doing. Obviously, from a HR and legal point of view, you treat them just like any other contractor. But they tend to arrive on your doorstep, up to speed and with a solid understanding of everything that’s going on, they may have even already worked in the company you are in, or at the very least had years and years of experience in the issues you are trying to solve.

They tend to be people with 15+ years of experience, or have even built the product you are working with. They seldom play corporate politics because it holds no interest and they are in it for the long term so don’t want any ill feelings to effect peoples opinion of their professionalism. After your job, there will be another job and reputation precedes them.

Their only downsides are the fact they tend to cost a lot (you get what you pay for), and seldom bend on this point if you are getting pressured from internal corporate sources i.e. “XX is too expensive, get them to cut their rate”, also they are often impersonated by people without the real skill sets.

Consultancy consultant

So this is a consultant you receive as part of a team provided by a larger consultancy (KPMG would be the example that leaps to mind) They tend to be really good and solid, however they often do not to have a consultant mindset. Yes, their company has a contract with you, but they see the work in a slightly different fashion, far more like a permanent member of staff. They will have greater loyalty to their own internal managers than you,  they get bored much easier, and they tend to think of things in terms of their own long term growth within their own company. So whereas with a professional consultant, if you hired them and paid them, they will do the same boring job for ages because they know that is the role they are paid for. consultancy consultants do not do this. They have to be treated to a certain extent, like a permanent staff member.

There is in addition one known issue with consultancy consultants, and that is training, Yes they will initially send you their best to get the business, but as soon as they can, they will swap out their top people to stock staff members, in addition any training they receive from your selves will become an asset they will sell on to the next suitable market and while this is the case with all contractors, its more noticeable with larger consultancies as they often have a more comprehensive appreciation of the market place and your competitors. I should point out here that there is nothing wrong with this practice, in fact it would be strange if they did not do both of these things as it would be detrimental to their business but it is something you should be aware of.

Agency contractors.

This is what I would class as a normal and standard contractor,  you send out a request to the agencies or even another sub consultancy to go fetch a certain skill set, you receive a short list, you review their CV, Then you pick the one(s) you want. There are good and bad ones. But they tend to be on the whole good because they’ve been in this job for years. I have been one of them and I’ve known good and bad, however they tend to be solid and dependable because they want to do the job for as long as they can. They’re in this for the money mainly. They tend to be a little bit on the cynical side as they have been kicked solidly by various governments for the last 20 or 30 years. And they do not trust a single person within your agency or company.

High Turnover Contractors

These tend to be contractors that you see for the lower end of the skill tree. But even that is being unfair because they come in various individual skill levels. You often see them in helpdesk support or fixed price development, Used by outsourcers from various countries. Their main characteristic is that they tend not to think of your work as a long term speciality skill. They are just good at something and you get them to do something similar, they will not stay in their current position for a career. One of the easiest way to identify them is when you have video calls, they will not turn on the video. They often don’t even log in under their own name. They often use accounts from previous users. They move in and out so fast that the normal setup and retention process simply does not apply to them. The best way of helping them is to make sure you have decent documentation. They are always very good at coming up to speed fast but if they are “put upon” they will retreat behind the letter of any statement of work or documentation. So make sure it’s clear and concise, However if I was honest I would say the best way to work together is to NOT treat them as disposable and not to just demand a never ending string of high priority things from them.

Conclusion

While I have categorised people into groups here, I did not do it as a way to discriminate between the types, but as a way to give you as a client the opportunity to find the best from each person you contract with, and to realise they all have ways in which they are the best solution to meet your needs.

Stress Tip No. 7 : Identifying and dealing with a fake holiday

Dealing with “fake holidays”,

From a stress point of view, fake holidays are an unusual occurrence and tend to happen only in multinational corporations, where you can have multiple regional or religious holidays that only affect one area or country. This means that while you’re away, the work just piles up at exactly the same rate as if you were there. Thus when you come back. you end up with exactly the same amount of work as if you had not taken the time off. But you have to do it in a shorter period of time, meaning that essentially the holiday is pointless because you’re even more frazzled than you were originally.

It turns out that the solution to this is quite simple. You treat the holiday as if it’s a formal personal holiday. You prep people for it. You inform them and you behave as if it’s a hard paid time off, rather than merely an assumed holiday because the rest of your country/religion/group is taking it.

The perfect example of this being implemented is in a lot of continental Europe. They have a lot of their public holidays on a Tuesday or a Thursday, and they tend to bridge them, so if they have them on a Tuesday, they take a Monday as paid time off. and then they inform everybody that they are taking both days off, this seems to work. People think of it in terms of a group of people taking paid time off, rather than a sudden surprise holiday that they haven’t catered for.

That’s it. Treat them as if they are paid time off and not a generalised holiday, such as New Year or the Christian Christmas, and you will find less work piles up.

Evil footnote: A useful side note to this situation is that this also helps you identify those who are not thinking in broader terms than just their part of the world. A good example is the recent Diwali holiday. This is as serious as Christmas or Ramadan. But you meet people who think of it in terms of only: “I wont get what I want from India today”, Such people are to be watched and encouraged to get up to speed.

Painting Guide – Necromunda Corpse grinder cult Ambot

Painter: Kitbash: Stickfight, Artist: Dultoriminis

Model(s): Ambot + Bits from the Rhino Chaos Upgrade kit

Paint(s): Spray Chaos Black, Spray Leadbelcher, Leadbelcher, Retributor Armour, Averland Sunset, Abaddon Black, Zandri Dust, White Scar, Blood Angel Red contrast, Nuln Oil, Agrax Earthshade.

Method(s):

Spray Chaos Black, Once fully dry spray Leadbelcher, once dry wash whole model with Nuln Oil and leave plenty of time to fully dry, and apply a coat of Agrax Earthshade over the whole model. For hazard stripes paint Averland Sunset, for the black stripes you can either pick them out freehand (the trick here is to be patient and confident with your lines, don’t go too slow either as I find this is where you get the most wobble) or you can use tape, whatever you decide paint the lines with Abaddon Black, for skulls base in Zandri Dust, wash Agrax Earthshade and finally a 1:1 mix of Zandri Dust and White Scar for the highlights. for the armour panels base in Retributor Armour , Once fully dry paint a thin layer of Blood Angel Red contrast. ( due to the opacity of contrast you can generally see though many of the contrast colours to an extent, this makes them great over metallic as they will keep the metallic effect)

Paint Time: 4-6 Hours

Stress Tip No. 6 : When to mention the ‘B’ word

The ‘B’ word in this case is Burnt-Out. now I am not an expert in this field in any way, Just experienced in seeing it in real life. I have seen genuine Burnout, I’ve seen fake Burnout, I’ve seen people well on the path to it, I’ve seen people recover from it if caught in time. But if you genuinely burn out, you are gone from that job or role. You just walk out the building, or you sit at your desk with tears rolling down your face while trying to take part in a meeting and not understanding why your shirt is wet, or worst of all you are completely zombified so you aren’t able to do anything but don’t even realise it.

Its not a mild thing. It’s serious. So if you are feeling under stress and under pressure, do not start by claiming you are Burnt-Out immediately. its not very likely, If you genuinely feel you are Burnt-Out then I would get professional help Immediately!. 

However, Burnout takes many many forms, and again, I’m not an expert. I’ve seen people Burn-Out fully in six months under very, very high pressure. I’ve seen people slowly Burn-Out after two decades and then decide to quit. quit the corporate world, move somewhere different and take up painting or Sheep herding 1.

But please don’t overuse the word, it makes it harder to find friends and colleagues that are in genuine danger, and means that Bosses/Clients/Employers become numb to it. If you feel yourself going past normal levels of exhaustion or stress 2, and you can feel the first inklings of what you think is Burn-Out. Then you might be starting to Burn, but you’re not actually Burnt-Out.

I feel that you get far more positive feedback from Managers/Employers/Clients if you say you are exhausted and need a break, and then explain that they will get you back at 100% if they work with you on this, also if you approach it this way they can stop it spreading in the team, as its rarely just one team member that is suffering, and someone might be far closer to full Burn-Out than you, but is suffering in silence, its in their interest to address it.

As the great Gimli son of Gloin once said.

“I must rest a little to run the better”

FootNotes
  1. Which is a hideously stressful Job in its self[]
  2. and Yes, I am aware that “normal levels of exhaustion or stress” is a terrible phrase, but this is the world we live in[]